Aerial Silks

Pep Talk from My Birth Mom before my Aerial Show

In the past year following my birth family reunion, I’ve learned some incredible life lessons. Truly amazing! This blog was an incredible space to share these experiences. One thing I’ve learned is that you can really and truly talk to people who are already in heaven. I am convinced of this. 

A few weeks ago, I performed in my first live aerial performance at the Founder’s Inn Grand Illumination event with Airotique Aerial Dance Company! Just before it was time for me to stand up and perform my routine, there was a space of time where I was seated on the dance floor awaiting my turn to rise and stand up to climb the silks. I don’t know why my mind wandered to where it did, except that it was really my birth mom poking me from heaven! I sat with my knees leaning toward one side, looking out at the audience, taking everything in. All of a sudden, I had this enormous sense that my birth mom was looking down on me from heaven. She was there to watch me perform in my first show. In my heart, I heard her say to me, she was there. She also clearly told me that she was so glad my adoptive mom, Doris, was there, and that she couldn’t have chosen a better person to raise me. She said she was exactly the person she wanted to raise me, and she was so happy that my adoptive mom, Doris, was my mom.

I immediately welled up with emotion, and my eyes filled with tears! Soon after, I quickly snapped out of that transcendent experience and landed my consciousness back to the dance floor where I was seated, and to the silks in front of me that I soon needed to climb. My thoughts returned to the ballroom just in time before the tears were able to stream down my face, thankfully. It was such an emotional and powerful experience! I’m not sure why it happened when it did– right before my show. I took it as a signal that I was meant to find aerial arts, and connecting with my birth mom at that moment was another sign that aerial dancing was meant to be with me for a while longer. It could’ve also been because my birth mom knew that this was important for me, so she wanted to cheer me on and let me know she was with me. I don’t think I know the full reason yet, but I get the impression I will.

When choosing the photos for this post, I debated between the one at left of me climbing the silks at the performance and another shot of me seated on the ground. I was feeling attached to the one of me seated on the ground because I had a clear look of badass determination on my face, and my make up lines looked exactly like Natalie Portman in Black Swan. However, that photo was a little out of focus. So, I asked my husband which one he thought I should choose based on what I was writing about. He said he liked this one because it looked like I was climbing to heaven. Such a sweet sentiment! He’s definitely a keeper.

Hope this post finds you well this holiday season!

Merry Christmas!



Flying as an Aerialist during the Year after my Reunion

I’m so thrilled and excited to announce the completion of my first aerial performance this past weekend with Airotique’s Aerial Dance Company! A little over one year ago I embarked on this aerial journey after seeing an aerial performance by DNA theatre in Baltimore at ArtScape, an outdoor art festival. At the time, I was reconnecting with the creative, artistic, expressive, and adventurous parts of myself that I allowed to remain in hibernation for years while my energy focused on cultivating my skills as a medical speech pathologist. When I saw that performance, the idea of doing something so daring, so beautiful, and so high in the air was something I could really see myself enjoying.

Upon returning home to VA Beach, I searched for an aerial studio and was excited to find Airotique Aerial Arts. The following week, I attended my first class with Nikee. Connecting with this studio has been so incredibly meaningful for me. Even from my first class, I knew that Nikee and I were meant to meet one another. Her purple ponytail matched her silk hammock and her beautifully inked body glided along the silks as she instructed us on how to perform basic silk moves like inversions and basic poses. She was so fantastic, I was hooked to aerial silks! I felt like a kid just swinging around, spinning, and hanging upside down. I couldn’t help the huge smile on my face because it was so much fun!

As I attended classes, I built a lot of upper body and core strength and gained more flexibility. The aerial studio was my happy place. I felt so alive and so free doing something I really loved so much! On the first day I achieved my aerial splits, a classmate said, “Can you see yourself?”

I said, “Um, what do you mean?”

“Look over there on the far wall—look at yourself in the mirror.”

I lifted my head to take a glance in the floor to ceiling mirrors on the opposite wall on the other side of the studio. Few moments have ever compared to how excited and how beautiful I felt about how I looked in that moment– seeing my body suspended midair in a gorgeous aerial silk split! It was definitely a proud moment. It was daring; it was beautiful; and I was so high up in the air!

Last year during Memorial Day weekend, I reunited with my birth family and experienced a tailspin of emotions. My head was spinning with all of the events that I was processing. It was the most incredibly moving event I’d ever experienced. The extreme joy and the deep grief that I felt surrounding this event was unparalleled to anything else I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Less than two months after I reconnected with my bio family, I found Airotique Aerial Arts studio. And in July 2014, I flew for the first time as an aerialist and have been addicted to flying ever since.

During times of hardship, or stressful and emotional times, it’s incredibly meaningful to do something beautiful and daring. A creative outlet. A physical and emotional outlet. A place to connect with friends and support one another. I will be forever grateful for finding Airotique and aerial silks during one of the most emotional years of my life. And I’m excited about continuing to grow as an aerialist with this fabulous group of circus friends. They are some of the coolest, most daring, most beautiful people I’ve ever met. And I’m so glad to have them in my life! Airotique and aerial silks have truly given me wings to soar, and I will be forever grateful for what this meant for me!